The Necessity of Self-Denial

Check Out: The Cost of Discipleship

“If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”--Mark 8:34


When I am walking in the woods early in the morning I often  see a deer. Or rather the deer sees me first, stops to see if I am dangerous, and then lets me pass by. I can get within ten feet of a deer if I walk slowly but one step further and it flees into the protection of the understory. Self-preservation is a natural instinct in animals and us. When we feel that our reputations are threatened, our work criticized, our families attacked, or simply our time inconvenienced, we revert to our animal nature of fight or flight

Jesus’ command of self-denial is counter-intuitive. On an individual basis, it does not make sense. Yet, the nature and purpose of the Church is preserved by the collective effect of every leader setting aside his or her agenda for the greater good. Just as Jesus denied himself in order to fulfill his mission, so too must each member of his present-day body deny him or herself in order for the Church to fulfill its mission.


A congregation loses its effectiveness when its leaders do not practice self-denial. She defends a pet project which has lost its usefulness but no one dares to criticize it. His opinion dominates the committee meeting. She has an ulterior motive for getting something done. He is a broken person who needs healing but instead expresses it in inappropriate ways. She cannot move beyond how someone offended her years ago. On and on it goes until the church grinds to a halt and the Gospel is no longer proclaimed.

Self-preservation is very tempting because there is always a kernel of truth at the core of it: at one time the pet project was effective; he had a good idea; she was right and the other person was wrong; he certainly is a wounded individual. The command to self-denial has a shadow side. It has been used to put the burden on members who are already overworked and shamed with low self-esteem. For some, the language of self-denial is twisted into an expression of self-pity or passive-aggressive self-glorification. Even worse for the church, self-denial can degenerate into an abusive relationship whereby the sins of the church are never confronted and the leader a scapegoat.


But self-denial is only the first step for the leader. Jesus gives two more commands in this threefold process. Step two is to take up “their cross.” We are not called to take up anyone else’s cross except our own. Each person has a specific task to perform and no one person can do it all. Remember: There is only one Messiah and you are not it!


Step three says that we are to follow him. As leaders this is a daily requirement to follow the Spirit of Christ into our own healing and discernment so that we can practice self-denial and discover our cross. We must follow Christ into our own healing so that we are not spreading our infections to others. We must follow Christ in our discernment so that we can know when and how to speak and act for the greater good of the church.


This three-fold process of church leadership flies in the face of our culture. We obsess over ourselves and assume that ‘self-fulfillment’ is the supreme evidence that it must be God’s will. Consider how we talk about the ‘purpose-driven life.’ Sooner or later our job must make us feel good. At best, sacrifice is a very temporary aspect of a narcissistic spirituality—‘No pain, no gain.’ This is cultural Christianity which cannot understand how self-denial is at the heart of true discipleship.


Make it a regular practice to ask yourself: What is the greater good of the church that comes before my own agenda and preservation? In what ways do I need to deny myself the opportunity to be right, to receive an apology, to be comfortable so that the church can do the mission of Jesus Christ?